I don't give VirtualPC tips, even though I use it.

I don't play rugby/soccer.

I don't play bridge.

I did write the Vectrex hacks credited to me here also, et ici, and other places, and these notes about an S-100 Vectrex interface.

I'm haven't had anything to do with the Boy Scouts of America since I was 12.

I'm not Chief clerk at an INS office.

I'm not on the Enid OK Park Board.

I'm not Q-COM's customer service manager.

I'm not this much of a bike rider, even if it is local, which means it might be the VirtualPC guy again.

I've never been introduced by Steve Ballmer let alone ever met the guy. I'm not sure what it would take to get me to work for MicroSoft.

I've never been to this flower shop and I don't have a hat and coat like that.

I do not own a BBQ joint in Coeur d'Alene, even if his Uncle Scott's restaurant is in my hometown.